hurt

I'm not going to live the rest of my life in "When".
I'm not gonna bury my future with me.
I need to fix this broken heart,
and i have to do that on my own...

De Ja Vu

Coming out of the hospital, yet again, I am instantly taken back to five months ago. The house smells the same. The feeling of emptiness is heightened, as it was five months before. i am back in a familiar place of unfamiliarity.

And I sit here the next day wondering, again, why I survived a near death experience; my second in one year's time. Five months pass, and history repeats itself.

And I'm in my own quandry about my life and where it is headed.

Am I safer here?

And if so, what happens to us?

"How many times can i break 'til I shatter?

Over the line,

can't define what I'm after.

I always was turn the car around."

O.A.R. - Shattered

"I never thought that i'd have any more to give

pushing me so far.

here I am wothout you!

Drink!

to all that we have lost,

mistakes we have made.

everything will change

but love remains the same"

Gavin Rossdale - Love Remains the Same