Superstitious Writings on the Wall

When do we know if it's Forever?
Or do we ever really?

Instinctively, i felt Forever with him from the moment our relationship began. Had i not, i would have never gotten involved. For the first few months, things were great. There was a mutual feeling, with no fear, whatsoever. Then things happened. He got scared. And while the universe was preventing us from being together, fear reached me as well.
What happened? There was no fear at the beginning. Then, after an establishment, all of a sudden, it decides to pop its head in and say "Hey Sean! I'm here to give you a mental mind fuck!"?

The thing is, I love him so much...too much. My fear stems from the thought that one day, he'll realise that he doesn't want to be with me. He tells me differently, but I am filled with so much insecurity, and when you add Karma into it, well, let's just say, I almost expect the worst.

I've noticed change. But it's not typical in a relationship. this has nothing to do with the Honeymoon being over or anything like that. In the first few month, as I mentioned, there was a mutual love we had for each other, in things that were said or done. Then, circumstances in his life happened, and he changed. There have been times where i felt I was giving too much of myself, and not receiving the same thing in return. I feel like no one will ever love me the way I love. Of course, that doesn't change my feelings towards him - it just intensifies the fear...especially knowing just how much I really do love him. On a side note, i do know that everyone expresses their love differently, and compared to my exes, he's doing the better job in that department by telling me things that i need to hear.

I've been hurt so many ways in this...ways he doesn't even realise, and even though the hurt effects me, I'm doing my best to prevent it from effecting the relationship.
I just know that i could never hurt him, nor would I ever try to, no matter what the situation...and that's where mutuality ends.
I do believe him when he says he loves me and that he wants to be with me for life...but there's so much missing in between the electrical current that connects us. In the past I have felt that I wanted this more than he does, just by certain actions from both our parts; My determination, and his lack of...

I'm keeping my fingers crossed, because if I fall, I'm going to fall harder than I've ever fallen....and its not going to be pretty.

I know that he is Forever in my heart. But will I ever know if I'm Forever in his?