All Else Failed: Restoration of Faith

I wanted him...right then. In my own insecurities, I met once again with spontaneity. Through fits of crying and emotional distress, I couldn't take it anymore. I woke early Saturday morning and decided that I was going to take a ten hour drive to Alabama.

Now, ten hours may be a long time, but seven months is even longer...and I was worried that he and i were about to falter.

I told my mom about 8:30 am, and she suggested that I get my slow leak in the tire fixed...so we both went to the Tire Auto place and had that done.

11 or so hours later, after being stopped by a cop for not using my turn signal ( In Evergreen, Al- but the cop didn't issue me a ticket, as I told him I was lost and he pointed me in the right direction.) i pulled up to nick's job, where he was outside smoking a cigarette with a co-worker and a friend.

There was a little bit of tension, due to the fact that he and i had an argument earlier, and I mistook that for him not wanting me there. He told me to go back to Evergreen, and that he would call me when his co-worker and friend left. So I went to Burger King, where i ate half-assedly, as my stomach was tied up in knots. He called soon after, and i went back to his job, where for most of the night, I sat parked next to his car.

He had called me, and expressed that he wished i would have come on his days off, which were Monday and Tuesday. I told him I needed to see him.

"I look the same!" was his reaction, and I told him that I didn't like that. I was pissed. Maybe I shouldn't have come, I thought, as I contemplated just leaving. Two and a half or so hours later, He got into his car and told me to follow him. Still hadn't received a kiss.

I followed him as he sped through back roads, calling him on the cell.

"Could you go any faster?"

This seemed to agitate him, as he told me that he doesn't have much time. Of course, it didn't help that I, myself had a bit of an attitude.

This became another short argument.

I hung up.

Two minutes later, i called him back.

"You're not mad at me, are you?"

"No!", he replied.

And a few minutes later, we pulled into a secluded spot, where i got into his car, and he took my hand, until I finally ended up in his comfortable big arms. Argument forgotten and tension dissipated.

About an hour later, after a quickie in the car, he had to leave...so I went and got a hotel.

Sunday, I laid in bed for most of the day, watching tv...waiting...and waiting...

I did get up and get lunch. I also drove by his friend Monica's house, and thought of stopping by, but since there was no car in the driveway, I decided against it. Went back to the hotel where I continued waiting in torturous anticipation for him to get off of work and get to me.

Finally, at 11; 30 p.m., after not hearing from him for several hours, I called him, wondering where he was at. He was still at his job, and then had to go to his house to pick up some things. The next hour and a half or so was hell for me, but he finally showed up at the hotel.

We went to Monica's house and hung out there for a few hours. By the time we got back to the hotel, it was about 4 a.m. But we didn't go to sleep. Instead, we had sex, and then watched tv...eventually falling asleep around 10 a.m. I was originally supposed to leave on Monday, but decided to stay another day.

We slept 'til about 2:30. I was worried all day that he was going to have to go home, but he didn't - so we had another night together. We spent the day in the hotel room watching tv.

Before heading in the shower, I told him that he needs to be strong for the both of us...like if I'm ready to give up, I don't want him to give in., because i don't mean it when I say certain things. I love him too much, and would hate to lose him, even through my own stupidity and/or insecurity.

Later that evening, we drove around looking at apartment complexes. He doesn't care to live in Evergreen, despite the practicality of finances and being close to his job. Still, I asked him if he would consider it, and he said he would.

We went back to the hotel and watched some more tv. He told me he didn't want me to leave and thanked me for coming up to see him. I thanked him for spending the time with me. We would both agree later that this was a relaxing few days as we enjoyed each others company while doing absolutely nothing.

Eventually, I fell asleep, while he went to go visit Monica at her job. When he came back at about 4 in the a.m., he laid in bed next to me. Two or so hours later, I woke up and forced myself on him, releasing some sexual tension.

I had trouble sleeping, so I laid next to him, with all these thoughts roaming through my head. It hurt knowing that I only had a few more hours with him before I had to head back.

When he woke, he got ready as we left the hotel. We went and had lunch at a park before saying goodbye, which, of course, is still the hardest thing to do.