Let's Go with an Embarrasing Moment

It was the summer of 16. I was attending Summer school, and was forced to reunite with my middle school ememies. I had been spending a lot of my free time with my gay and lesbian friends - so, at this point, i was pretty much out and proud. I felt the same kind of hatred from these old peers, even in their silence, as it had been a few years since the taunting and tormenting. Still, i felt better than them, as I had grown in these years through self discovery, and I sensed their ignorance in all its superficiality. I was no longer the same person I was in middle school, and was hoping that this would be noticed. It was - but not in a good way.

I had written a note to one of my lesbian friends talking about a crush i had had on a boy. I lost the note, only to find out later, from my brother, that it was found and read, as I had outed myself (to my brother, as well as these kids)through words not meant for their eyes to read. Still, that didn't bother me. Like I said, I was out and proud...for the most part.

But, it was this one particular day that I wanted to crawl under a rock never to be seen by these people ever again:

I was running late for school, as my mother dropped me off at one of the gates. I had to walk through a field to get to my class, so I rushed through, hoping not to get in trouble for my tardiness. Although my entrance was noticed, the teacher said nothing, as I made my way to my desk in the front row. I sat there doing my work, when a smell began to permeate in my nose. I looked over at the girl next to me, the same one who stole my note, and thought she literally smelled like shit. The smell was getting worse as the time passed by, and i kept thinking of how bad this girl smelled, and that I was almost embarrassed for her, yet, thrilled at the thought that her superficial popularity could be ruined. A few minutes later, one of the boys, another asshole from my middle school, got out of his seat, and walked over to my desk.

"Excuse me", he said, "but I think you stepped in dog shit."

That couldn't be right. The smell couldn't possibly be coming from me. But, sure enough, I looked down at my shoe, and there it was, peeking out at me from the bottom, with blades of grass and all. I was mortified. I excused myself and went to the restroom. I could hear the muffled snickers as I left the room, especially from the stupid bitch sitting next to me.

I took of my shoe in the bathroom and washed the shit off. I didn't know how I was going to go back in that classroom, as I just wanted to leave and go home.

As I was heading back to class, i ran into my old band teacher - Mr. O'Farril - the same band teacher I had a huge crush on in 6th and 7th grade. I spoke with him for a bit, and began to feel a little better. After saying goodbye, it was at this moment, walking back to the room that I decided I would no longer care what people thought. Why should I? Especially these people. They weren't my friends, nor would they ever be. Once my classes were done I would never even see them again.

I walked in the classroom, as if it never happened, took my seat, and continued my work. This was probably the moment in my life where I developed apathy to the thoughts of others around me.